Children's Gossip
by LoveBackwards
Summary: One-Shot. There are so many relationship problems for older siblings/parents of the young classmates. What better place to spill the gossip than the third grade lunch table?


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.

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"Hiten's such an idiot…" Souten sighed as she sat at the lunch table with her classmates.

"And you're just figuring that out?" Hakudoshi rolled his eyes.

"Why?" Rin blinked.

"Because he always does something so stupid and he knows Abi will find out about it so he gets himself in trouble." She groaned.

"He is an idiot." Shippo agreed and Souten kicked him in the shin under the table.

"I'm the only one who can call him that!" The girl yelled.

"I was just agreeing!" He crossed his arms.

"He's _my_ idiot, fox!"

"Don't worry; you have Inuyasha to call your idiot." Hakudoshi remarked dryly.

"Hey, I'm not related to that idiot!" Shippo defended.

"You almost are." Rin smiled.

"No-suh!"

"You sure act like him." Souten smirked and received a death glare.

"It's almost disgusting how easily manipulated Bankotsu is by Kagura…" Hakudoshi kept on the first subject.

"Hiten practically on a leash."

"I hate the way he calls and apologizes like a little baby…be somewhat of a man." He disapprovingly shook his head.

"That's like Sango with Miroku." Kohaku sighed.

"What's manipulate mean?" Rin asked.

"It means he's easily controlled."

"Oh…my dad doesn't have that problem…he gets along with Kikyo really good."

"Well, Rin, really _well_." Hakudoshi corrected.

"And most of the time, they fight!" Souten threw her arms in the air.

"I know what you mean." Kohaku sighed.

"Yup." Hakudoshi nodded.

"Please, you haven't seen fighting until you've seen Inuyasha and Kagome." Shippo rolled his eyes.

"It's like…they should just grow up." Souten reasoned.

"Yeah they should…Miroku's so touchy." Kohaku said.

"If they really like each other they should just try to make it work." Rin smiled.

"No, one should kill the other and throw the body over the bridge at midnight so nobody knows about it and find somebody else to spend their miserable life with." Hakudoshi explained and everyone blinked. "What?"

"I think it's just stupid…Hiten really likes her but he never does anything to show it." Souten sighed.

"Yeah, Inuyasha's the same…so thick-skulled." Shippo mumbled.

"I don't get what's so hard about saying you like someone." Rin frowned.

"That's why I choose to hate everyone." Hakudoshi sighed. "On top of it all, Bankotsu flirts with anything with boobs."

"Like Miroku." Kohaku smiled.

"He even tried explaining sex to me when he was drunk once…do you know how many positions that man has tried?" He shuddered.

"What's sex?" Shippo asked.

"When a boy hurts a girl." Souten explained.

"Why would someone want that?" He asked. Souten put her hand at the side of her mouth to cover it.

"Because when you're older, you like it." She whispered and Shippo cocked his head. "That what Hiten told me." She shrugged.

"I don't even want to think about what Miroku's done with Sango." Kohaku frowned.

"I saw Hiten once…oops, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone!" Souten clapped her hand over her mouth.

"I don't even think Inuyasha and Kagome have kissed since that one time." Shippo shook his head.

"How do these morons maintain relationships?" Hakudoshi asked.

"I think they all love each other!" Rin smiled and the table got silent.

"I think they're in denial." Hakudoshi reasoned.

"I think they don't know how to end it."

"I think Hiten would be lost without Abi." Souten shook her head.

"In some sick way, they need each other." Shippo agreed.

"Yeah…" They all sighed in unison.

"When I get older, I do not want a relationship like theirs." Hakudoshi scrunched his nose.

"Nope." Souten sighed. "Although…Abi does have a lot of control over Hiten." She smirked.

"Mhm, Kikyo is good at making sure my dad does nothing wrong!" Rin smiled, finally able to relate to the conversation.

"Yeah…Kagome has Inuyasha whipped." Shippo sighed.

"So girls have the control in relationships!" Souten smiled.

"Never. Males are more dominant." Hakudoshi argued.

"No way! You said it yourself! Kagura controls Bankotsu!"

"Bankotsu does not count as a man." He challenged.

"And you do?" Rin giggled.

"Quiet, Rin."

"You know Hiten was afraid to go out for a month because Abi threatened to leave once?" Souten smirked.

"Bankotsu left Kagura 487 voicemails to apologize for some attempted sex tape incident." Hakudoshi frowned.

"How do you know how many?"

"Because she had them on speaker when she listened…I threw the phone out the window after hearing about how it wasn't his fault she made him hard…that was message 294." He shuddered.

"Miroku called every single night until Sango wound up back with him."

"Inuyasha….refuses to admit he's wrong and Kagome still likes him." Shippo shrugged.

"Let's make a deal." Souten smiled.

"Alright." Shippo smiled.

"Our relationships will be nothing like theirs….except the art where the girls are the boss." Souten placed her hand in the middle of the table.

"Or they're just nothing at all like theirs." Hakudoshi glared.

"Fine." She rolled her eyes. Everyone put their tiny hands on top of each other's.

"Relationships are complicated." Rin sighed.

"You said it." Hakudoshi agreed.


End file.
